Let’s be real: caring for someone with dementia at home isn’t just about schedules and prescriptions. It’s messy. It’s emotional. And no two days look the same. While medical advice lays down the framework, what really keeps things together is a mix of clinical knowledge, patience on steroids, and yes, a bit of improvisation.
Still, there are some clear best practices, backed by neurology, geriatric care experts, and families who’ve walked this road.
First, Understand What You’re Dealing With
Dementia isn’t a disease. It’s a syndrome, a collection of symptoms caused by different conditions, most commonly Alzheimer’s disease (about 60–80% of cases according to the Alzheimer’s Association). But there are others too: vascular dementia, Lewy body, frontotemporal…
Each has its own quirks. Alzheimer’s typically shows up as short-term memory loss and confusion. Lewy body might come with hallucinations and wild sleep disruptions. That means your approach at home must align with the type of dementia you’re dealing with. A blanket solution won’t cut it.
Safety First (Always)
Let’s not sugarcoat this. Your house needs a bit of a makeover. Think baby-proofing, but for seniors. No rugs to trip on, sharp edges covered, medications locked away. Install grab bars in the bathroom. Use GPS trackers if wandering is an issue. (Which, by the way, happens to 6 in 10 people with dementia.)
Don’t trust that your loved one won’t try to cook or go outside alone. Design systems where they simply can’t.
Establish Routines (But Be Ready to Break Them)
Routines anchor someone with cognitive decline. Breakfast at 8. A walk after lunch. Bath before bed. It’s soothing. It also reduces the number of decisions they (and you) need to make in a day.
But some days? It won’t work. Maybe they’re agitated. Maybe they woke up in a fog. You pivot. You don’t insist. Flexibility is just as important as structure.
Nutrition Isn’t Just About Calories
You’ve probably read that people with dementia forget meals or eat poorly. But here’s the twist: their taste preferences might change too. Sweet tooth out of nowhere? Totally normal.
What matters more than a “balanced plate” is calorie intake, hydration, and ease of eating. Finger foods are often better than forks and knives. Smoothies sneak in nutrients without the fuss.
Pro tip: Let them smell and touch the food before eating. Sensory cues help trigger recognition and appetite.
Medications: Know the Purpose (and the Side Effects)
There’s no cure for dementia. But meds like donepezil or memantine can slow progression or ease symptoms, sometimes. They’re not magic pills.
What really helps is knowing the side effects cold. These meds often cause nausea, dizziness, and sleep issues. Sometimes they make behaviors worse before they get better. Check the NIH’s drug guide for detailed info and track symptoms religiously.
Work with a neurologist, not just your GP. Too many primary doctors default to antipsychotics or sedatives. These are heavily debated and potentially dangerous for dementia patients.
Communication: Keep It Simple, Ditch the Baby Talk
This one’s delicate. Speak slowly, use simple words, yes, but don’t talk down. Avoid baby talk. It’s insulting, even if unintentionally so.
Use cues like pointing, holding up objects, or showing pictures. Keep questions binary: “Do you want tea or water?” not “What would you like to drink?” And if they say something off? Roll with it. Correcting constantly just breeds frustration. Sometimes, you nod and smile and let them finish the story, even if it’s a bit scrambled.
Manage the Caregiver’s Sanity
Caregiver burnout is real. According to a 2022 AARP report, over 40% of dementia caregivers suffer from depression.
Don’t try to be a hero. You need time off. That might mean hiring part-time help, enrolling in adult day programs, or calling in favors. If you’re in the UAE, check services like JPR Home Health Care for trained in-home dementia support. These services are growing fast across the Gulf.
And honestly? Therapy helps. Even if just once a month. You’re grieving, adjusting, and making a million decisions. That’s heavy.
Best Practices for Specific Stages
Not all dementia care is equal across time. A few stage-specific notes:
- Early Stage: Encourage independence. Let them pay bills, cook (with supervision), join social clubs. It helps preserve dignity.
- Middle Stage: Focus on safety and emotional comfort. Avoid overstimulation. Keep photos and familiar objects around.
- Late Stage: Switch to palliative goals. It’s about quality, not quantity. Pain management, skin care, and emotional presence matter more than keeping them “active.”
Tech Can Help, But Don’t Over-Rely
Yes, tech is great. Pill reminder apps, smart home sensors, voice assistants they all ease your burden. Devices like GPS SmartSole or AngelSense are literal lifesavers if your loved one wanders.
But tech isn’t a substitute for actual care. It’s an aid. Not the answer.
You’re Allowed to Grieve While You Care
People don’t talk about this enough. You’re losing someone, slowly. And while they’re still here physically, parts of them may already feel gone. That grief is real. Let yourself feel it.
But in the middle of all that, moments of connection still happen. A laugh. A memory that surfaces. A random “thank you.” Those moments, cling to them. They’re everything.
